Labels and Strap-ons

Before I get into this post, quick update. I have 2 new favorite things. The first is Arielle Scarcella, my new fave queer YouTuber and the second is New York Girls, my new favorite Lesbian show. The story line is solid, the production quality is great (save for some sound problems is Season 1) and the characters…Damn. They are so pretty. The writer(s) resisted the temptation to have only stud-femme relationships and blessed us with some femme-femme relationships. And unlike other series I’ve watched, the acting is passable. It’s not dreary to watch. The sex scenes aren’t as good as LLNY (yet) but they do get better in season 2. I think they were trying to be pretty PG.

Now, aside from teaching me new slang, the series roused some questions that I’ve always had bubbling under the surface. We all know by now that I am a baby dyke and there is still a lot I am trying to figure out. So be patient as I ask these questions and hopefully give me some answers?

My first question has to deal with labels. I know that , at least for me, labels don’t define a person. They just serve to categorize. Plus, people often spill through the edges of the labels. But I have been wondering lately, what’s the difference between stud, dyke and butch? Are some of these terms considered derogatory in the queermunity?

Secondly, when strapping is happening, does the strapper experience any pleasure from it? Especially if its not a double sided strap? Or is it about giving pleasure to the strapee? Also, is there any pleasure derived from having the strap/dildo/toy being sucked? Or is it a power thing. Clearly, we can now tell that my knowledge of toys is wanting.

I’d like to think toy etiquette is much like sex etiquette. You know, consent is key. And so is communication. That I’m quite clear on. I’d really like some clarification on the slang and the strap on areas.

 

 

 

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3 Comments Add yours

  1. Stacy says:

    Hey, I have an answer for your first question.
    A dyke – though mistaken to mean masculine-presenting queer women – is any woman who is attracted to women. However, it was a slur for a very long time and queer women have just started reclaiming it so it’s offensive to a lot of people still.
    Stud & butch have the same meaning : a masculine-presenting queer woman.

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    1. Omg. Thank you..this totally demystifies the three for me. I’ve seen people using dyke to mean a ‘masculine’ presenting woman which totally confused me. Oh and I’m totally for reclaiming the word ‘dyke’. Thank you!!

      Like

      1. Stacy says:

        No problem! I’m still not as comfortable with the word ‘dyke’ but I’m working on it.

        Also what you said about the bittersweet-ness of labels. I feel that. I spend so much time stressing over what label fits me best and feel like a liar when I no longer relate to a label I once felt I related to. They make me wary at times but they are so necessary as a stance of radical self acceptance and also because of all the erasure queer people experience.

        Like

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