Heteronormativity sucks, doesn’t it
It feels nice to put a finger on what gears have been malfunctioning. Kenya being a heteronormative society puts a blind on some very core issues of people who identify as not straight. I for one did not have a clue as to why boys made me cringe. It was a reflex that came about when they touched me or for some just shaking of hands.
When I was in class three, I had identified the boy I would get married to. He had the last surname as me and I was not about to change surnames because of marriage. All this time I enjoyed hanging out with a specific girl but not too much so I don’t look creepy. I also had my grades to keep up with. I rationalized to myself that I liked hanging out with her because she had cool snacks) remember those jelly like snacks that came in different animal forms?) .
Now that I am older and look back at my life and decisions I had made I feel stupid for not seeing all the signs. Remember when I hated on people who knew when they were 4 years old? I am one of those guys.
- I was four when I realized that Princess Diana was so pretty and was mad at whoever killed her. I had vowed to look for the person and kill them too. I refused to take the car accident BS they were serving us.
- Sandra Bullock was my wife when I was 7.
- My English teacher called teacher Ann was a total babe. When she fell during a teacher’s team sport, it bothered me a lot I had to speak to someone to get over it. I talked to my aunt about it.
- Kristin Kreuk who played Lana on Smallville was my ultimate goals. I watched smallville because of her.
- I liked listening to girls tell me about their problems because I thought I could solve them and become their best friends.
- I refused to wear dresses because they hindered how well I played bano and police & robbers. On Sundays, I would wear my Cinderella dresses just to show off how many layers it had.
- I chose to cut my hair as I was preparing to go to boarding school.
- There was this time Nini Wacera had a kissing scene on was it wingu la moto? And I was there for every bit of it.
- There was a teacher called Madam Eunice who was so pretty but she beat me once and I stopped liking her because I felt betrayed.
- Sarah Wayne Callies graced our screens as Sarah Tancredi and I lost my mind. Woman is sooo fine.
- When I was in highschool, a classmate asked me what I would want my date to come dressed in if I ever went on a date. I wanted so bad to say a red dress with a thigh high slit but I could not so I said a suit. She laughed at me…a lot.
- Kalinda Sharma, Sarah Shahi and Nicole Beharie are my wives, we are not going to debate about this.
- Mozhan Marno is the real reason I watch The Blacklist.
- I got mad when I realized that Scarlet Ortiz, when she was playing Maria Clara in Secreto De Amor, really kissed that Carlos Raul dude. She was my South American Wife
How many wives do I have now? Lol
- Juliana Kanyamozi is a queen.
Scenarios that sealed the deal.
- I was shown a sexy picture of Lance Gross and all I could say was “By the way, have you guys ever seen his teeth? They are so white and perfect” And everyone just looked at me as if I lost my mind. I had to throw in the ‘He looks like a Greek god’ thing that has helped me out severally.
- I have been dancing with men when I go out. I hated every single moment of it. I then happened to dance with a girl and everything clicked. I had to do a quick check and went back to dance with a man and my innards curled in a bad way. I had to leave the party because I was not ready to admit it.
So I went home and watched the L word and now Jeniffer Beals is my essence.
Do you have any signs you might have missed when you were younger that blew your mind?
Another lovely post by a guest writer who we probably need to give a pseudonym because I foresee her writing a lot for KBD (kenyanbabydyke, keep up guys). I think I’ll call her Rapunzel because she has a great mane of hair.
I must admit I love Rapunzel’s writing because she always makes me laugh and I hope she will have the same effect on you. Don’t forget to leave her a nice comment and answer her question.
If you would also like to guest post, you can mail me at email@example.com.