“I try not to change, but I keep changing, in all these tiny ways…And every freaking time, I have to reintroduce myself to the universe all over again.”
Today I am wondering just how much what we are going through affects the reading experience: how much we enjoy the book, what we take from it and how the book affects us.
Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda was not my first Becky Albertalli Book. The Upside Of Unrequited was. I loved it. I love her. Or how she writes. Simon Vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda affirmed that. So what’s the homo sapiens agenda? Well, you have to read it to know. I am very serious about no spoilers.
I am not sure I can tell you what the book is about. My reading this book and loving it wasn’t about Simon and his coming out story. It wasn’t about him falling in love or finding acceptance (or the lack of it). It wasn’t about his wit, the shared love of Harry Potter and theater. The affection and magnetic pull to people who are grammatical. Nope. It was about me.
Me, and the person I met, who pulled me in with good grammar, punctuation and wit. I’ll be honest, my punctuation is lacking. As I went through the pages, she was Blue and I was Simon and I was reliving everything. I may not have had a happy ending but I am happy Simon did. Is that a spoiler? I am sorry. I like knowing if there is a happy ending or not.
I am not really sure about this review and how much of a review it really is. It’s probably me just ranting and rambling as usual.
Let’s talk about the book. Becky Albertalli is a brilliant writer. Her young adult books seem to magically capture what it’s like to be at the precipice of adulthood. I am not sure I qualify as a young adult anymore but I love them. And I feel like the words were written just for me. Which is always a good feeling.
“And this gay thing. It feels so big. It’s almost insurmountable. I don’t know how to tell them something like this and still come out of it feeling like Simon. Because if Leah and Nick don’t recognize me, I don’t even recognize myself anymore.”
Then there is the small matter of my parents finding out about my being gay. I knew this day would come. In all the scenarios I created however, I was the one doing the telling. I somehow thought I would sit them down, maybe at home, maybe at a restaurant and we would have a civil conversation. Then we would maintain our distance. They would come up with a story to tell our relatives explaining why I don’t attend family functions anymore. I would still talk to my brother. Not the most ideal situation but one I could live through.
Now. They found out. Somehow. Though I cannot say I was being overly careful about it. Maybe that’s my fault. Now. They won’t talk to me. They are planning a sit down. One whose outcome, I can only imagine. They are bringing someone in to help them talk to me. I have thought about not going, when they ask. But I have also thought about getting it over and done with. I just hope they don’t try to pray it away. I hope they will be a little civil. The uncertainty and the waiting is slowly killing me. But all I can do is wait.
What about you? What are you reading? What have you been reading?